I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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