Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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