just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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