its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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