So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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