I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
