Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize