Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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