I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
