I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
