Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
