great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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