im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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