In the future we'll all be gay
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
