it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
