its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
