"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
