This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
