I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
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I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
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Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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