Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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