My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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