Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
