but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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