Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i came on her dog
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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