Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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