i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
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I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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