haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
