It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
