I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
