I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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