I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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