Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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