That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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