Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
