I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
