Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
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