Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
