I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I will pee on everything he values.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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