with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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