Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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