When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
