so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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