worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
