Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We need to rekindle our bromance
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
