He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
they're like a gay fantastic four
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
