people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
