im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
