i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
