So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
