No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
