I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
