He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
