no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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