i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
