did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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