She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
