remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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