I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
