I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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