I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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