Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
