Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
