Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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