Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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