CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
