OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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