I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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