Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
